The Source..

When it feels like your car is broken down on the highway and everyone is just zooming by in their working vehicle. You realize that even when your world stops, the world doesn't stop. They say joy cometh in the morning. I'm still waiting for my joy.

Hi guys. It's been a minute since I have been here. Life is kicking my ass but I refuse to let it make me its bitch. Before I do this post I want to address a comment/request I received from Anonymous about detailing my time in Nigeria. I did blog during my time there but I am not sure what angle you are looking for. Is this for personal knowledge or just a good read because I am not sure when I can get to it. If it's for personal knowledge please feel free to hit me up via email (taynement@gmail.com) or if I know you (which I am guessing is how you knew I did a stint?) you can hit me up and I will be happy to answer or address any questions you may have. Ok on to today's post which is kind of a cheat. It's 50 life lessons by Regina Brett which she wrote right before she turned 50. I know we see so many of these things but its funny how there's always something that resonates. Probably because as human beings, we know better but don't always do better. Anywa...

I am indifferent towards Selena Gomez as a person but I have a couple of her songs on the iPod. She makes catchy tunes and yall know I am an agbaya. I'll listen to anything as long as it makes my ears happy. Anyway she released a new song/video earlier in the week called "The heart wants what it wants", which I like and which I think is probably her most honest song to date because clearly it is about her roller coaster relationship with Justin Bieber. The song is quite relatable and I feel most women have been there at some point in their lives. You know...that time when you meet that one guy and all is well at first then things go south but you still keep going on and you have this unhealthy dependency/situationship that noone is ready to leave even though you want to and wish you could with every fiber of your being. I always call that guy the "Mr. Big" of your life. For those who know me, I really disliked Mr. Big. I didn't think he was nice to Carrie ...

This was floating on my timeline and was a status for one of my bbm's contacts: "We're adults and busy. No reason to be in constant contact with you to prove my friendship to you. Just know when/if you need me, I'm here" A lot of people were cosigning this statement but I do not agree with this at all. The statement itself just sounds so cold and like those people that feel cool that they can cut people off whenever. Ok maybe that's a harsh comparison. The line "I don't need to prove my friendship to you". I mean, since when does being in constant contact mean proving a friendship? I simmered and remembered when I was much younger and felt that a friend who never reached out didn't really care. I know better now but I did acknowledge that maybe that is what they meant. I admit that when it comes to things like these I am a big sap and I am a sentimental person. But the main things that nullifies the statement above is technology. Ther...

It's been floating around and I figure it'll be fun to do. You will probably see things you already know about me as I have done these things a number of times but ah well. 1. I am a fake Nigerian because I can't handle pepper/spicy stuff. The day I realized people use more than 1 habanero when cooking, my eyes nearly popped out. I'll still eat it but I just don't handle it very well. 2. I really, really LOVE the artist - The Weeknd. I really do. 3. I have a huge massive fear of dogs. It doesn't matter how small or large or toothless they are. I just have an irrational fear of them. People never believe me or understand the magnitude of my fear and always try to tell me their dog is different. I think my friend with the chihuahua really understood when I burst into tears in her room. 4. I love a good deal. I search, plot, plan for what will be a good financial deal and save myself a few bucks in the long run. 5. I do not know the complete correct lyric...

Before I go into my post. I don't respond individually to comments unless I am asked a question, but I always try to respond in the post after. So I wanted to say thank you to you guys for your kind thoughts and comments on my last post. I appreciate it. I truly was having a bad day that day but we keep on trucking and I am hanging in there and taking each day as it comes. For those who reached out to me offline, thank you to you too. I appreciate it. Ok on to Harry Potter. So I had just arrived in America when the Harry Potter phenomenon was taking place and I read the first one for sure. I don't remember how many more I read but I stopped reading. Fast forward many more years later, I had always said I wanted to read the whole series. Amazon has a Netflix type program except it's for books and in August, the best friend informed me that first timers get a 30 day free trial. Decided to take the opportunity to read all 7 books in the series. The books were great. I love...

Cancer just doesn't eat away at the insides of a person. It just burns a hole through any and everyone around it. The other side of cancer that isn't discussed is how it affects the loved ones of the person who has the cancer. You can't really complain because ultimately it is seen as a better situation than the person who actually has the cancer. It's a terrible feeling watching someone you love suffer and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Everyday you try and be there for the person, you try to encourage and be kind and just transfer all the love you have for them, secretly hoping all your goodwill will cure them and make them better even though you know it's not possible. You say these things but the thing about cancer is you never know the outcome. It does as it pleases. You are racked with guilt because no matter how much you do, it never seems enough. Doctor to Doctor, treatment to treatment everything costs money so there's that - ...

Hi Folks. We are in October. Like 90 more days till we are in 2015. Like how scary is that? 2 thousand and freaking 15. chei! *thinks of what to say* I don't know what jibber jabber to jabber you guys with so I guess I will just random. Just as we Christians are hypocritical, I am usually amused by Muslims who hold so true to their no-pork rule but will willingly break every other rule there is. I often wonder why it is the biggest sacrilege but everything else such as sex or drinking goes. I knew someone who wouldn't touch pork with a 10 foot pole but he drank and smoked like a chimney and owned a couple of strip clubs. funny, eh? Some things you think are common basic human courtesy, really aren't. In that same vein, how do you handle not doing the most for people? If you are doing something nice or doing things for a person from the goodness of your heart and because you care but you know if situations are flipped it wouldn't even occur to the person to do for...

...your significant other? Ok..ok..before you guys roll your eyes and are tired of me and my questions. I promise this one wasn't me. Someone asked me to do it and said they would be interested in seeing what people's answers were. So I went ahead and asked friends of mine in relationships - although I should mention that most of them are married - and below are answers that I got verbatim, no edits. Enjoy! (Is enjoy the right word?) "I love his commitment. Looooooove it" "One thing caught my attention, another thing sparked my interest. Physique...love me a thin woman (lepa toh bad). Eccentricity... Her thought process is different from most women out there" "Oh gosh. It's not just one thing. He's goofy, a genuinely good person that makes me want to be one too. Smart, gosh he's so smart. And he loves me fiercely. Oh and he's cute too" "He's patient, understanding, fun(ny), has a hustler's spirit, strong leade...

Here we are again. Another year has rolled by and I am one year older. I am currently sniffling with a splitting headache and my throat feels like there's a mini fire in it. My body finally gave out on me on my birthday. Regardless, I am still thankful and grateful to see another year. As always, it's been an eventful year with the good and the bad mixed in together. I thank you God for everything and I thank you for the Grace to see another year. I thank you for prayers answered and prayers yet unanswered. I thank you for the good people you have given me as friends who genuinely have my best interests at heart. Continue to bless them for me. Thank you to those who have reached already to wish me a happy birthday. I appreciate you all. Happy Birthday to me.

Howdy guys. Hope you guys had a good week. Man, I only worked 3 days this week but it felt like 500. I totally enjoyed my labor day weekend. Me and some college friends of mine spent the long weekend at a resort in Arizona and it was so much fun. Kinda hard to believe that I have known some of these people for about 15 years and even harder to believe that people I partied with now have kids that they are responsible for. Life goes by fast sha! I have another eventful weekend ahead. Meeen, I miss my lay in weekends at home..ok not really but it's almost coming to an end. Fall is round the corner. Can you believe Christmas is 3 months away??!!!! Today's randoms are by a friend of mine who has guested before (and you guys loved so much). If anyone would like to guest random, please feel free to hit me up. Here we go: I have come to the considered opinion that Linda Ikeji is a shameless agbaya. Dazzol.  As they say on twitter, “argue on your TL.” I saw a lady’s tweet o...

You wait for a silence I wait for a word Lying next to your frame Girl unobserved You change your position And you're changing me Casting these shadows Where they shouldn't be We're interrupted By the heat of the sun Trying to prevent What's already begun Oh, you're just a body I can smell your skin And when we feel it You're wearing thin Oh, but I've got a plan And why don't you be the artist? And make me out of clay? Why don't you be the writer? And decide the words I say? 'Cause I'd rather pretend I'll still be there at the end Only it's too hard to ask Won't you try to help me? Sat on your sofa It's all broken springs This isn't the place for Those violin strings Oh, I try out a smile And I aim it at you Oh, you must have missed it You always do Oh, but I've got a plan And why don't you be the artist? And make me out of clay? Oh, why don't you be the writer? And decide the words I say? ‘Cause I'd rather...

Lord have mercy on my soul For I have walked the sinful road That I'm down on my knees Lord have mercy on me, please Ohh yeah Jesus, I must confess That in all my loneliness I've forsaken and I've sinned Leaving fragments of a man so broken I could tell you what I've done Or should I tell you where I went wrong? Well the more that I start to play My deceitful, evil ways Keep on growing stronger by the day Oh lord have mercy on my soul For I have walked a sinful road So I'm gonna get down on my knees Beg forgiveness to help set me free Lord have mercy on me, please Mother Mary full of grace In my weakness, I've lost faith I've been careless, and I have been warned And the devil inside me is torn God bless the men that I have scorned So don't let me fool around no more Send your angels down to guide me through that door Well I've gone and confessed my regrets And I pray I'm not held in contempt I'm so lost, and I need you to help me repent Oh l...

Not a quitter,  But I need to give up this fight  For my sanity, my pride  Do I leave? Do I stay and try?  Cause any minute,  You will say the words goodbye  Give me love, then change your mind  And break all that I am inside  That's why I'm never gonna love this way again  I'm never gonna give my heart again  Cause every time I try  I end up broken  I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh)  I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh)  I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh)  I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh)  These are stars  These are the days  And they shine for you and me  So tell me why do we stand in the rain?  Cause any minute,  We will both be killing time  Tryna save you and I  And that's no way to live  Someday you'll miss my love  Yes my love  You'll remember what you had  And I'll forget the past  And move on to someone else  A love I can feel 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah I stare at my reflection in the mirror Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error I nearly left the real me on the shelf No, no, no, no, no,no Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are Who you are, who you are, who you are no no no no no no Who you are, who you are, who you are who you are who you are Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah 'Cause everything inside me screams No, no, no, no, no,no,no,no Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard to follow your...

Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small and needy Warm me up And breathe me Ouch I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small and needy Warm me up And breathe me Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small and needy Warm me up And breathe me

I believe Jehovah Jireh I believe there's heaven  I believe in war  I believe a woman's temple  gives her the right to choose but baby don't abort I believe that marriage isn't  between a man & woman  but between love and love  and I believe you when you say that  you've lost all faith  but you must believe in something  something something  you gotta believe in something  something something  I still believe in man  a wise one asked me why cause i just don't believe we're wicked  i know that we sin but i do believe we try  we all try  the girls try  the boys try  women try  men try  you and I  try try we all try  I don't believe in time travel  I don't believe our nation's flag is on the moon  I don't believe our lives are simple  and I don't believe they're short  this is interlude  I don't believe my hands are cleanly  can't believe that y...

Hi folks..Happy Friday to all of you'se. Hope you had a good week? I had a good week. Busy, busy and topped with an act of kindness I can't believe. Men, work was so busy, I feel like we had 10 days crammed into this week. That being said, I still love my job and it really isn't stressful. I am learning a lot and enjoying what I learn. It's so funny because you pray for something so long you don't even realize when it gets answered because it took so long. I pray for the tiniest and the largest things. Before I moved into this apartment, I prayed so hard for God to help me find a place that I could afford but fit what I wanted. I was so frustrated one day cuz I couldn't find anything, I headed straight to the liquor store and drowned my sorrows. The day I found the apartment, it took me like less than 30 minutes to decide. Same goes for my new job. I got tired of searching and applying but when I got this position it happened so quickly I didn't even know wh...

In the midst of the chaotic world that we seem to be living in, I stick out my hand and wave hello to you guys. Seriously guys, what the hell is going on in the world? I feel like my head is spinning. Every corner you turn to something is going to. Either a plane has crashed, a notable figure has died, wars being fought, a black man being shot, diseases spreading. sheeesh. Na only this world waka come? What can one do but just hope and pray for God's protection and strength for those feeling these situations way worse than we do. On my end, it's been a fun summer and I am a little bummed that it is about to end. I am about to face my first real winter since I have been in America. Fun. NOT! But yea, I have been doing things, especially my favorite - traveling. I had a two week break and realized that the next 4 weekends I will not be in my house. My mother keeps asking me when I will stop being adventurous (to her, traveling is adventurous o) and settle down? (code for marry). ...