Pick me, Choose me, Love me....then Discuss
Before I post the topic of discussion, I have to preface it by saying that even though Grey's Anatomy is shit now, there was once a time it was a really good show. Ok, maybe shit is harsh but it definitely has more down than up episodes. Anyways, I really despised Meredith, my best friend never quite got why I couldn't stand her, she thought I would be able to relate to her (oh dear god, yuck!). I vividly remember that episode, when Derek was torn between Addison and herself and she told him:
"okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. but, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. so pick me, choose me, love me".
Dear God, I cringed. I remember feeling so embarassed for Meredith. I remember wondering what kind of woman loses her pride and dignity for a man all in the name of love. *insert image of Igbo woman spitting and saying "Tufia!".
Well I was 24 then...
....Now I'm almost 29
And boy do I get it.... (umm not saying I don reach Meredith level oh, that was deep)
You see for some, it's pretty easy to just let people in and let things be and for others e.g me it requires more effort, effort I am willing to put in as much as I can. Looking back, I think that was a brave thing she did. She put herself out there, laid all her cards on the table and took a risk. Risks can be good..and can be bad. There are only two ways it can turn out. If things do go bad, like the resilient human beings that we are, we will recover.
Okay na, all my long tori was resurrected because I came across a speech Meredith gave on the most recent season that reminded me of the speech above and maybe shift small in my chair:
There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.It wasnt cos I thot I'd be happy alone.It was becos I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart,I might not make it.It's easier to be alone, because what if u learn that u need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? If you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can u even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage.It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? Could go on forever.
This is where the discuss part comes in. I would really love to hear what your thoughts are on this, I think I gave my thoughts on this in my yakking above. Have a wonderful rest of the week!
PS Those of you who like to give me your opinion via chat or bbm mba mba, I don't want to hear, write it here :D
"okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. but, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. so pick me, choose me, love me".
Dear God, I cringed. I remember feeling so embarassed for Meredith. I remember wondering what kind of woman loses her pride and dignity for a man all in the name of love. *insert image of Igbo woman spitting and saying "Tufia!".
Well I was 24 then...
....Now I'm almost 29
And boy do I get it.... (umm not saying I don reach Meredith level oh, that was deep)
You see for some, it's pretty easy to just let people in and let things be and for others e.g me it requires more effort, effort I am willing to put in as much as I can. Looking back, I think that was a brave thing she did. She put herself out there, laid all her cards on the table and took a risk. Risks can be good..and can be bad. There are only two ways it can turn out. If things do go bad, like the resilient human beings that we are, we will recover.
Okay na, all my long tori was resurrected because I came across a speech Meredith gave on the most recent season that reminded me of the speech above and maybe shift small in my chair:
There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.It wasnt cos I thot I'd be happy alone.It was becos I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart,I might not make it.It's easier to be alone, because what if u learn that u need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? If you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can u even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage.It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? Could go on forever.
This is where the discuss part comes in. I would really love to hear what your thoughts are on this, I think I gave my thoughts on this in my yakking above. Have a wonderful rest of the week!
PS Those of you who like to give me your opinion via chat or bbm mba mba, I don't want to hear, write it here :D
Comments
Many chicks these days do the whole, I'm not going to put my all into a relationship cos i'll shatter into a million pieces if it doesnt work. How can we have this mentality of not opening ourselves to love jst to avoid a heartbreak we arent even sure of. Love is a beautiful thing regardless of all the flaws and obstacles surrounding it. Shying away from love under the guise of "protection" would only cause u more pain cos at the end of the day, we are mere mortals and we all want to love and be loved.
On the flipside..I believe that if a relationship like that ends...eventually you are able to heal and move on..I don't agree with 'losing love being like organ damage'..i think it's more like a scar..the heart heals. You might never forget..or end up like the crazy cat lady/hairless rat lady but..you can move on.
I think people dwell so much on the idea of "how will I cope if this "love" is lost" and end up not having it at all, I dont believe this is a better option though.
Have you ever seen an old widow who still talks about the love she shared with her late husband and how it makes her glow? Yup, thats the type of real love we are supposed to embrace if we are interested in it.
On the point of laying your cards all out--Im a fan of it(not time to waste-Life comes at you fast), but how Meredith did it? I doubt if I can use that approach of laying my cards all out tho! There have to be more subtle ways--we gotta find it!lOl
Someone said "Love is always beautiful. It's people who insist on being ugly at times."
To the main tory at hand...If you don't think about it, you would say she's making sense but like you said life is all about taking risks and having hope. Human beings are very resilient and heart breaks might feel like they can kill you but they usually don't :) I think that was a very dramatic and cynical statement.
Isn't that the scenario that all you ladies would love to avoid?
Just my $3.50.
The point was laying all your cards on the table and realizing that it doesn't always yield gold, sometimes you get shit on.
Oh yea, in a perfect world it'd be a scenario I'd like to avoid.
my 0.50cent change
I'm all for being brave and taking risks, but putting yourself through an emotional spin cycle over and over (pun intended) will leave you wanting to end your life because you're exhausted and want peace and quiet.
*flips two quarters at Taynement* you can keep the change honey.
You are taking this to the extreme. I used the first example just cuz it tied in with the last speech. It's a TV show. Even in reality, I think it's extreme to want to end your life because things didn't work out with someone. For the most part, everyone gets hurt and heals as best as they can.
Again, my whole point was about taking risks, maybe I should have added within reason.
You just highlighted one part of her, I'm using her other traits/actions to make my point.
I'll stop now.
*damn waste of $3.50*
Who knows, the gamble may pay off someday. As hurtful as heartbreak is every time, the pain ends someday
I realize meredith is unrealistic and extreme. It's a TV show that needs a storyline that's why I have been emphasizing that the focus isn't Meredith and the continuing storyline, I just used one side of her as an example because of the topic at hand.
I do not know how to lay ALL my cards on the table. I guess it is because I have not yet met someone who is worth all that and more. I am the ambiguous type. tell you what you need to know type. I don't know what hurt feels like because I have never been through it and I will pass for now. I like my heart in full form.:D
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agreed
Hahahahah @ handing folks their $.50 change.
That said..."If you don't seem like you're in, I won't be the one to lay my cards all out on the table like that" Chuurrcchhh!!! I'm not a risk taker with heart matters...someones gotta do it and it ain't gon be me...starting out anyways.
Sadly, more and more, in this day and age the woman is expected to do more 'laying it all on the line'. Men are now saying if she doesn't show me she really wants it--'on the the next one'...I Digress.
I dont get that 'its better to have loved...' line but i do know loving and being loved back is a great thing. A brokern heart will heal...we just need to make sure it doesn't break our psyche.
Beg a man to pick me?? Nnaaaaa meehnnn!!!! lemme just say- God grant me wisdom to do what i need to do in any given situation. Amen!!
Obviously this is easier said than done. 1.5 times in my life I took a romantic risk that didn't pay off. I'm still alive and well-adjusted.
I think the misconception some ppl have is that "love" will break you if its not returned. This implies that the rejected person has no control over what happens after a rejection. Only YOU can fix YOU if your risk doesn't pay off. As soon as you realize you are always in control of your reaction, you'll see that risk taking is not that "risky" afterall.
You can only be "broken" if you let yourself be "broken". If love isn't returned its not the end of the world and it is completely within your power to move on from a rejection as soon as you decide to move on.
So,its not really a "risk" as long as you trust yourself to move on from it if things dont work out.
I think it is sensible to give as much as you're getting. if two people fall in love for example.. there's no way to quantify that love if what they both feel is genuine for each other.
On the other hand; it is good to put things into perspective.Use your head and tackle things and if you no see any sensible result.. na to bounce be dat!
This is one of the biggest gamble we must take and one with ever changing risks because even if you make the most best choice today, there is no guarantee because people change. Seeing how much is out of our control, I think we should make the most educated guess, get the strongest parachute and jump when the time is right. There is no assurance of a safe landing, but with ample preparation and caution, the ride will be worth it.
As for the Meredith story, I am not a Meredith in this regard. If I have to do so much to get you to be with me, chances are I'll have to make the same kind of effort to keep you with me. I don't have that energy and sometimes, I may be the one needing convincing to stay. I need you to want it as much as I do.
i dont think there is anything wrong with being honest, the older i get the more i realize that life goes on. No matter how sucky a situation is, we can/will get through it.
so the whole protect yourself thing may not be all that necessary
P.S i am not saying totally ignore the signs o!
Funny thing is all the sex they used to have in the earlier seasons put me off it, but i like it better now.
I think that second quote was from the scene where she came home with the baby and her husband had left.
This love matter sha *sigh*
I used to be one of those lay it bare, put it all out there, all or nothing type of girl. I dunno if i am anymore, i've been single too long to know, or maybe that's why i'm single, because i know that i may not be capable of holding back and i'm wary of unrequited feelings.