Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Observations of a New Convert

For years I avoided it. For years, they tried to get me to see it. For years, I refused. For years, arguments for it were made to me. For years, I stood my ground and adamantly refused to do it. No, I am not talking about religion and neither am I talking about going natural. Can you guess what I am talking about? [/Barney Stinson\]Wait for it....[/Barney Stinson\]....I am talking about Nollywood Movies!

Omg peoplez, I succumbed due to lack of nothing to watch and watched A BUNCH of Nollywood movies of my own volition. Whether or not I finished them is not the point, point is I sat and watched movies with more than one part, yay me! *does jig*. Granted, I am still picky about them like I won't watch village movies, I only watch movies with certain people, I don't like comedies etc etc but I celebrate my new step (I refuse to acknowledge that it is a phase because now that TV season is back and there are movies to be watched, it's been a week since I watched one)

Anywhoos, for you veterans I am sure you will already know this but I thought I'd share some things I observed from Nollywood:

I'll start with the actors:

Genevieve is still a beast as an actress, chic just needs to be challenged. Nse Ikpe Etim(wife in guilty pleasures) is a rising star too.

I grudgingly accept that Mercy Johnson is a good actress. She puts her all into her character and noone cries quite like her.

Why do they have weird names?(Tonto Dike, Uche Jumbo, Tchidi) are these stage names? Anyways, Tonto needs to tone it down, the babe get correct skin sha.

Majid, Majid after shaving off the curly, little hairs on his ass he should find a cure for his nasal-ity. I dunno it just irks me.

Ini Edo should stick to village roles. Her phonetics is very unmelodious.
The remaining observations:

I love how there is always light in dem movies.

My favorites that I saw were Guilty Pleasures and Love my Way. Silent Scandals is over rated to me.

I like how they are always on the internet at home but there is no internet stick showing on the side. In one movie(yoruba one), she was at work typing on the computer but the screen was showing the shut down kini.

Every meal they eat when they go to the restaurant is rice and they be using fork and knife. tickles me.

Oh, sticking a straw in a whole carton of juice. That tickles me too.

Anytime someone is rushed to the hospital, the roads are free! Almost makes me wonder if I imagined all the many hours of traffic I was in.

The hairdressers in naija are awesome! Characters are able to carry the same hairstle for YEARS!

It takes a week to fall in love.

Noone in naija apparently has native names. Everyone is called Violet, Emerald, Osmosis or something so farfetched.

I enjoy playing spot the microphone. I always spot it.

Heart of Men wasn't as bad as everyone said it was.

What diet are these actresses on? They look great.

I'm sure there are more but these are the few I remembered, I just wanted to share my excitement. In my search for recommendations I found this blog: http://myafricanmoviereviews.blogspot.com/ and was blown away by the passion. Ah well, that is all i have today. Have a great day and feel free to share recommendations with me.

Offtopic, I just think Lamman Rucker is a beautiful, beautiful, sexy man:



15 comments:

Tigeress said...

1st?

Tigeress said...

omd i'm 1st! hehehehe. it's been like 5 months since i've claimed 1st o.

na wa for all of una- my dat i'm MIA- i'm able to be 1st

..Moyo said...

I love Barney too. He's so retarded yet soo cool. The way he talks as well.

Lmaoo at the hairdressers bit. I never actually noticed it - sooo true.

Fabulo-la said...

spot the microphone?
LMAO!
I must do that next time!

And yea...that man is delicious and jeez...im swooning.
God help me!

Myne Whitman said...

Fabulola! of the Raysins fame? LOL

Nollywood is sweet you have to agree. Spot the microphone and same hairstyles. I wonder when they'll change? I preferred SS to GP, yet to see Love my way. Do you buy the DVDs? I watch online at Bunubuni and you might check out Nollywood forever reviews. She's good.

MPB said...

I hope you noticed Majid's dirty nails (i cant get over that). Yep, I am a sucker for naija movies but i stick to certain kinds too lol. I hate the comedies and village ones...hmmm i think martin lawrence and tracy morgan would fit into the naija comedy industry.

Nice Anon said...

Where are they falling in love in a week?

How's the chase our love song? Feeling it?

TayneMent said...

@Tigeress - lol. yay@your 1st

@Moyo - I just recently started watching HIMYM

@Fab - delish

@Myne - sweet is farfetched but I have been told it's more enjoyable watching it as a group. And I just dey start oh, NO I doubt I will ever buy a dvd for myself. I watch on bunibuni.

@MPB - no i did not notice his nails.

@niceanon - if i remember correctly in emerald abi beautiful soul I don't know which ( i didnt go past 30mins) some dude in dreads gave her a ride and next thing i know he said he loved her.

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL!

Leave our hair dressers, please!! The garrit like that! When they lay their hands on your hair ehn, you won't need to redo it till at least one decade.

Ever noticed how in the movies we're always well ahead of the rest of the world? Like how in "1980," Mr. and Mrs. Okonkwo were driving that 2010 Range Rover. Oh, yeah. We also garrit like that!

LOL.

Azazel said...

Lol Taynement this is nice lol

neefemi said...

"What diets are these actresses on? They look great"-lmao, sarcasm @ its best- loves it
He is mighty fine & juicy

downtheaisle said...

I can't stop laughing...
D names,d hair,sticking straw into juice
Menh! U've been watching dem.lmao

Tori said...

LMAO, ah ah! Free Fork and knife users!

And people have wireless naa!

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAOOOOOO. Absolutely hilarious post.

F said...

LMAO @ Osmosis... I think till date, the funniest name I have seen in a Naija film is Tracynita... YES! Why have Tracy or Anita when you can have both? Totally agree that Tonto Dike has gorgeous skin but needs to tone down the gra gra (sorry, English failed me there). I might start another blog post if I go into everything so I'll just say I co-sign this entire post! Especially that Lamman Rucker man... Meeeen... My tutor looking like that would sure be helpful to my attendance levels...