I think everyone should have read this blog post by now and if you haven't, please take a second to read through it and then come back to see what I have to say on the topic.
...Are you back? Good.
So, I read this blog post and thought about what I had just read. Not long after, a friend messaged it to me and he asked me what I thought about it, and I thought about it some more. I have said before that I totally get why people settle, but in my heart of hearts I don't know that I am one of those that can go through with settling. After reading this, I can't say this girl was wrong or she was right because all it boils down to is that we are all different individuals. Now, to be honest my first thought when I read this was this is crap BUT she *seems* to be at peace with her decision and ultimately I have always thought that that is an important factor when you walk down the aisle, to be at peace with your decision. But, there are other factors to consider.
I've seen someone close to me make this same decision and the common thing they both shared was that they both made this decision after coming out of a painful breakup/relationship(I should add that in spite of all the adoration the "tayo" in the relationship bestowed, the love never came). Most of us have been in this situation, been hurt, been in a relationship where you seem to be doing more but like everything else, we all handle stuff differently. A lot of the commenters raised valid points. They say love with your head and your heart. In this case, she is admittedly loving with just her head and listing the little things about him that she didn't care for. They usually say that, that which you found cute about your partner in the beginning is what will drive you crazy later and i think that's where the whole dizzying stars "love" help you to be blind small and she doesn't have that. I truly believe those "honeymoon" years and lovey dovey time memories help on those days when you just want to kill your partner. Her mom said when the sex starts then the love will follow. I don't know how I felt about that. If she isn't feeling any passion for him right now, does sex automatically bring the passion and love? My friend thinks that at some point she might stray. why? because she has experienced passion and excitement from someone else and if it doesn't come later, she will know what she is missing out on.
All that being said, I cannot refute something that she said which was "I am with the man God selected, handpicked for me". I am going to go ahead and assume that she received a confirmation from God and only the both of them know their relationship. I can admit that I am looking at her situation from my own point of view and my own experiences and characteristics. Some argue that this "love" and "butterflies" we make noise about is over rated and in the end being "smart" is what counts. They may be right and they may be wrong. The one thing I noticed from this post was that it didn't seem like the writer thought that she could find a good man that she could be in love with that also possessed Tayo characteristics. I may not be the fairytale kinda gal but I do believe that it's very possible. Ultimately, I wish the writer the very best and wish her happiness.
So..what do you guys think?
PS MPB reminded me of something I wanted to say that I forgot to in my haste to post. I do wonder where Tayo stands in all of this. Is he aware he is marrying someone who is not in love with him?