Friday, January 20, 2012

The Pre-Nup Issue

So by now, you must be under a rock if you haven't heard how Vanessa and Kobe reached a settlement in their divorce which included $75 million and 3 of their mansions. My dearly beloved twitter had boys and girls alike with their panties in a bunch about this issue. I exaggerate, let me be nice and say they simply aired their views on the matter. There were two sides: those who thought Vanessa was a bloodsucking, greedy bitch who didn't deserve the money and those who thought Kobe was a cheating bastard who deserved to be hit in the pockets.

Left to me alone, it's really not that serious. This isn't the first couple to have a divorce in California that involved large sums of money but I have to say I am quite amused by how passionate everyone was getting. Is it brand new news that a spouse is entitle to half the partner's earnings in California after 10 years of marriage? - this is where those that think she is a gold digger will say she waited specifically to hit this mark to file - which may or may not be true, meh. Was Kobe not of sane mind when he decided to not get a pre-nup? Anyways, what gets me the most out of all of this is how the fact that he cheated, allegedly a number of times is being treated like nothing. I know cheating has become so rampant that most people are desensitized to it and it's like oh you will heal get over it but I really don't think people realize what it's like to be hurt so blatantly and repeatedly by someone you love.(before i get attacked, I am assuming they loved each other). Sure, the money helps but that shit fucks with your head. We don't know what happens behind closed doors but what if he had given her a disease? Will sorry cure your herpes or in the most dire situation, HIV? I dunno, yea maybe she is taking too much from him but he cheated! He decided to get married without a pre-nup, he decided to step outside the marriage - the consequence of that is that his wife might discover and choose to file a divorce and he risks losing his fortune. what did the babe do? did she put a gun to the judge's head and demand? Last I checked it was a settlement, meaning Kobe agreed abi? We don't have the full story and all the strong stances being made are wa.

So just for fun, I asked a friend of mine that if he was banking like that would he make his wife sign a pre-nup? and he said yes. I asked why? He said because being that rich there's more of chance of a woman trying to take advantage of you and it's never 100% certain. I responded with well even in our regular pay bracket nothing is ever certain. He said, well in this case there's more to lose (which is true talk). So then I asked if you think there's a chance she might take advantage of you why marry? So clearly, I was just joshing around but I always wonder about that for these celebs with boatloads of money. Why bother marrying at all? Ok fine, I get the love part but it's not like they are bound to religious or fire breathing naija parents like us plus statistics are not on their side, so why marry? Save your assets and keep it moving.

Another thought I had was can you have both? Both being, can you have all the warm goodness of love that makes you want to get married and save your money at the same time? I ask because there are people who take offense to signing a pre nup because they translate it as not being trusted etc etc. Do you truly love someone if you expect them to screw you over? This Cali law isn't restricted to big ol' moneybags, so fella's what pay bracket would you start to worry and make your wife sign a prenup? Ladies, would you be offended if you are asked to sign a pre nup? Personally, I don't think ( I say think, i don't know how i'd feel in an actual situation where i have strong feelings for someone) I would be offended if the reason is because you know...shit happens. Where I think i'd be offended is if he thinks I would want to take advantage of him and wait 10 years and pow! flee with half. This life gan, nothing is ever black or white. Whatever happens, I hope they both find some kind of peace with the situation and their kids adjust the best they can to it too. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think on the matter.

Have a lovely weekend my people. Stay safe and stay blessed.:)


LadyNgo said...

I've said it a million times, i'd be far beyond offended if my husband to be wanted me to sign a pre-nup and he probably would be my ex at that point. There's something off about going into a marriage already thinking about the end.

Ppl talk about pre-nups when they are wealthy but if you really think about it, if you have 50 mil and get a divorce and wifey gets half, u still have 25 mil plus the ability to make more whereas her share will eventually be spent and not replenished. But if you have 50k and wifey gets half...u see where i'm going.

Not to mention, when you get a divorced, they only split up money/property acquired during the marriage not anything you had before.

Myne Whitman said...

I actually think pre-nups are a cool idea and I think women should be the ones making men sign them before marriage. Most of us think the marriage certificate is enough, and indeed if you have the right person, it is usually sufficient. But, and here's a big but because I know it's not for everyone, if you feel you need more security, then have a lawyer draw up a pre-nup. And by security, I don't just mean money, things like child custody and fidelity, living arrangements, DV, etc can all go in there. I know most of this is covered in the law but nothing says you can't spell out something that is more individual to your situation.

Some will say if you feel you need legal papers over your partner you need not marry them, I say foul. Marriage is a legal institution and it is a contract whereby you sign the certificate to seal. The ramifications of all marriages are determined by the location where it is made binding. So having a pre-nup to set things more clearly is continuing on a path already begun.

Original Mgbeke said...

I don't feel sorry for Kobe and other cheating azz married men whose wives take half. Ntoiii, he deserves it.

Prenup: I would generally be insulted by the idea of a pre-nup. Shit happens so you want to insure yourself? Okay. Carry your insurance plan on to someone else. That would definitely leave a bad taste in my mouth.

MPB said...

You raise what i consider some very unique, thought provoking thoughts. I don't know how i feel about the guy i love wanting to sign a prenup. ironically, the romantic in me actually wants to say i don't care, i would sign one 'cos it is just a piece of paper that won't affect us really. I have no thoughts specifically about kobe and his ex-wife. They were married,he brought in the reasons they are divorcing into their union. he obviously didn't care about his money.

EDJ said...

Seems like everyone would be offended. I will be insisting on a prenup, thank you very much. If he doesn't like it, then he will be just fine. Yknow that is "allegedly" why Jen Hudson and whats his face haven't been married yet? Cos he won't sign a prenup?

So far everyone here seems to think of a situation where the man is the higher earner and needs to "protect" his money.

How would y'all feel if you ended up making a lot more money, your husband cheated on you, and you STILL had to pay him spousal sypport after the divorce? Would you prefer a prenup then? A prenup is for protecting both parties. If you never have to use it, then great!

Roc said...

On the flip side.. rather than be offended, the woman might think "I love him too much so it don't matter if i sign a prenup or not cos I don't plan on leaving.."

But then iI'm a guy, so...