Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Putting yourself out there.

Hi blogsvillers, hope everyone is having a good week. Mine has been tough but I am hanging in there. Anyhue, whatsup with my title you say? Well about 90% if not more of my friends are either married, engaged or in a relationship. When you are in one of those categories, sometimes some people think they are experts. I digress, anyways every now and then when we have a conversation, after the how is work? how is school? segment it is mostly followed by the how are the guys? question. Unfailingly, I always dissapoint with a nothing in that arena, then I get the talk.

I know they mean well, everyone is concerned about single taynement so I don't take it to heart but I do find it amusing because some way or the other it always leads to "Maybe you need to put yourself out there" and then I ask, "Please can you define putting yourself out there?". Well I got a talk today and I asked. I was told to go to events. For anyone who knows me, I don't know how much more out there I could be. I've chilled and scaled back a lot but back in the day, I know a considerable number of people. Anyways, it shifted to you have to go to like minded events like harvard grad blah blah, afri this that. After I got my entertainment I gave my own talk.

I am very anti rules as in do this, don't do that e.g because you slept with him on the first date that's why he is not interested. It may very well be but I know people who are happily together and they slept together on first date. I told my friend I am not the type to travel cross country with the intention of snagging a boo under the guise of networking. I have no strategy or no plans, all I do is pray to God that when he deems it fit that I end up with someone who is for me. I don't diss anyone who does that or who is proactive about finding a mate, it's just not my life/love path.

Well that was it folks, just thought I'd share and please if anyone has their own definition of putting yourself out there, let me know.

Have a great rest of the week.

13 comments:

CIL said...

Fest!!!

"Wafflov"!
Go to waffle house today... U r sure to find love!

:D

lani said...

A friend of mine talked to me just yesterday on how to put herself out there. I guess I'll just direct her here.

I think everyone should define the kind of person they want, take it to God and go about their normal lives.

Being together forever is more important than being married at the "appropriate age".

Ms.O said...

So what about the people who put themselves out there and still dont have a beau? I believe Gods time is the best. Just do you babe. I am sure you would be just fine..:)

Harry-Rami Itie said...

I agree with Ms. O

neefemi said...

omo.....i have no wise words, people know not to talk to me about this again, but lani said it best.."Being together forever is more important than being married at the appropriate age"...if i were u when they start just say before you begin let me stop you there, God is working on the man for me, and i will find him or he will find me but don't worry your head about it and end the story there....

LucidLilith said...

Putting yourself out there means socializing a lot. You have to go to bars, parties, church events, weddings, bridal showers (yes those women can hook you up). Meet as many people as possible without making any commitment to anyone at first. Then slowly weed the wheat from the chaff. It is a tedious process but that's how to do it.

Vivian said...

At this point...I am tried of people saying that I don't put myself out there cuz God knows that I do...next thing they will tell you is to pounce on someone you like...oy!! Anyways...in Gods own time..

Sidenote...why would anyone want to sleep with someone on the first day in this day and age?? I am just saying!

OhJaay said...

different strokes for different folks i would say, do what works for you.

Myne Whitman said...

I agree with you that what works for one may not work for the other. Like Ms O said, just do you.

Repressed One said...

...this and 'you have to make yourself available.' People get married or boo'd up and forget how it was when they were single. Irritants!!

TayneMent said...

@CIL - I'mma need you to start making actual comments. Waffle house is dirty :p

@Lani - thanks for stopping by and so true at your last statement.

@Ms O, thanks. I know I will be just fine.

@Harry, thanks

@Neefemi, abi? My head ain't worried at all.

@Lucid, I get that part. I've been there done that, now I don't feel like going out as much as i used to and I wont go out now because "he" might be there.

@Vivian - because they were attracted to each other and were going to be safe?

@Oohjay - yup

@Myne - yup i am doing me

@RepOne - LOL, yeah that was part of the talk too.

Thanks guys for stopping by.

MPB said...

I am with Oojay on this one. Different strokes for different people. It's not like you are a recluse and even if you were, it's your choice and your life and your comfort zone. Funny enough, just like my parents, none of my friends give me such talks ( maybe they feel I am already out there..lol). They always ask me for guy gist and when I say my love life is stagnant or I just have "friends", they then say "oh" and launch into tales of their exciting lives :) How do they bring it up with you? Is it like they ask you why you are single or they just randomly launch into a lecture?

Vivian said...

I am just saying from a safety standpoint...you never know what people are carrying...even if folks think they are safe..they might not know if they really are...but then again..to each their own!