Disclaimer: This shall be long and somewhat disjointed.
Ok, because this topic has not been discussed enough since the time of Adam, I thought I'd talk about it and just ramble my views on it. I got the inspiration last week as I was reading the latest installment of celebrity cheaters - Tiki Barber decided it was a great idea to dump/cheat his pregnant wife of how many years for a hot, blonde intern and Garcelle Beaveaus-Nilon(Fancy from Jamie Foxx show), her s.o of about 10 years I think has been cheating on her for about 5 years with a chic in Chicago. What is really hood people? I feel like now, things are gonna change. Cheating will become the norm and we'll be saying, "at least it was with just one person, not 5". Anyways, I am with my study group and suddenly the dude in my group blurts out, "Man, I shouldn't be married". He proceeds to tell us how it wasn't fireworks and violins when he got married (May of last year)He was tired of different girls and wanted to settle down, it was a long story sha. Long and short, he does subscribe to the theory that once a man is ready to settle down he will with the first person that comes along and closely fits what he is looking for. Then I come home and Taking Stage is on my tv, these two dudes broke up with their girls at homecoming, like in the middle of it. So while the girls are crying, hugging each other and consoling each other, dem dudes were backing it up on the dance floor celebrating their freedom. - They might not connect to you but for me it got my head thinking.
I won't lie I am a bit jaded about relationships. I don't think I have a damn clue about them. I love to see people in relationships and I hope for the best. But over the years, as you see seemingly good relationships fall, it's hard not to be a little pessimistic about them. Don't get me wrong there are good relationships out there, but let's be honest they are not the majority. Relationships are not easy, not in the least bit. Men, Women- two completely different species that will NEVER understand each other. People evolve, people change. I give mucho kudos to people that get married, it's a brave step. You are making a promise that you yourself don't know you can keep, you can only decide to keep your end of the bargain and hope for the best.I've seen some wedding videos, couple totally in love and I wonder where/how you lose that love? or was it not real from the beginning?
On a personal note, I've written an earlier blog post about being told to put myself out there, maybe to a certain extent they are right but nyeh. I told someone the other day that my last relationship was in 2008 and they were making noise like I said my last drink of water was in 2008. I'm not opposed to relationships, it just hasn't happened and there's no rush( I am wasting my singledom sha). Anyways, like I said before, I have no clue about relationships but there are certain things I believe in/hope to have:
I will never ever try to change a man. Hopefully he will compromise on some things and I will know what I can or can't handle.
Not comparing or molding my relationship after others. I believe everyone is different. I feel most women get into trouble when they do this, "oh he calls her 20times a day, why don't you call me", if it genuinely doesn't bother you and this person has your back when it's important what's the problem?
I hope I don't ever have to change myself for a man and whoever I'm with accepts me for who I am weird and all.
I know I had much more to say but that's all I can remember and I am getting tired of typing. I really wish I could just pour everything in my head but meh. All in all sha, even though I'm a bit jaded, I still think there are good ones out there, for those who plan on getting married or ending up in a long term relationship, I hope we
all get it right and play our own parts well too. And for those already married or in serious relationships, hope it's blessed and you guys continue to grow and learn with each other.
Having history with someone is a very strong and dangerous thing. It sometimes clouds your judgement and is the reason why some people just stick it out in a relationship they know is dead.
People say relationships are not easy and sometimes people say it shouldn't be hard. What you say?
Ok well have a good week and thanks for listening to my disjointed rambles.