The Source..

After all the months of saying time is flying by and Christmas is almost here, it is actually here. Actually it has come and gone and we are now on the final day of the year. Just like that. The end of the year brings a lot of reflection and resolutions. A time to reset and for some, to be hopeful. The last few years haven't been so kind to me, so the new year always fills me with some kind of dread and worry on what the new year could possibly come with. But I am forcing myself to believe that 2019 will be different. Only because, it has to be. 2018 was definitely not the greatest as it started out with not so good news and me having to make a big decision. Or taking a leap of faith. My medical woes had me sick for half the year from all the medication and I had to have yet another procedure, although this one was minor. I didn't get to spend Christmas with my family for the first time in a very long time. One of my closest friends lost her dad this year and he was such a gr...

Hi. Don't know if you noticed but it's cold out there. Like really cold. And the worst hasn't even hit. Oh, also we are in the last month of the year. As in 2018 is almost over and we are about to enter 2019. And oh yea, "he" is still President. I hate winter. I hate the cold. I'd rather be hot. Please don't come defend the cold with "I love fall fashion". Can't relate. All the whining aside, we thank God we are here, able to feel the cold. How are you getting ready for the holidays? Do you have your Christmas shopping done? Or do you have a tree set up in your home? One of my goals is to be one day grown enough to have a tree in my place of abode. Right after I have an abode, I fully make home. Okay, enough rambling. Let's random. In some odd sort of way, I think it must be freeing to be selfish. Not worrying or being aware of anything but your orbit. You feel no obligation and that comes with less guilt and less responsibility. Eve...

Two days ago, I get on my twitter and there's numerous tweets saying that Tosyn Bucknor, a well known naija personality had passed away from complications from having sickle cell anemia. It was shocking. I didn't know her personally but we followed each other and she was a fellow Man U fan. She seemed to live a full life and lived it to the fullest. She might have had an inkling that she had a short time here as seen in this poem she wrote below: But Tosyn's death seems to be one of so many these days. It's not even about being at the age because it is just not older people who seem to be passing away. There just seems to be death everywhere at all ages and it is a bit upsetting. I hate how final death is. I hate how it causes this ripple effect for those left behind, the grief that never heals and the hole that never gets filled. The questions that never get answered and worst of all the not knowing for sure what happens after since noone has ever come back and ...

Just like that, the cold came. Time for coats and chill and for all the fashion people that will be shouting fall fashion and layering. Mschew. I am not happy about this but what can I do. The year is also almost over and for the first time in many years I have no plans for Christmas, which makes me sad but guess it's on par with the majority of this year for me. I don't mean to always be a downer you guys. Please pray for me. I want to be less gloom and more joy. In the spirit of more joy, I did have a fantastic vacation recently where I got to see my family and that always adds pockets of joy to my life. I went to Cape Town, which has to be one of the most gorgeous places. Almost every place looks like a damn post card in the background and also to Abu Dhabi, which was more of a family wedding, so didn't do as much exploring. Let me see if I can rustle up some randoms. This week I found out that the average length of time couples date before they get married is 4.9 ...

Sigh you guys. I think I am filled with so much anger and confusion. I recently watched two things back to back that centered around religion that just has me fuming. First, I watched "3 Wives, 1 Husband" on Netflix. It's about families who are fundamental mormons and believe in polygamy. The reasoning is that having many wives and many kids is spiritual and brings you closer to God. Basically like how God manages the whole world, this is a very tiny fraction of them managing a big, chaotic family. They are uber religious and pray all the time. My thing is, anytime I watch anything about polygamous marriages, it is almost always guaranteed that the women are miserable and the man is the only one who seems happy with the arrangement. In one of the families, the second wife was so visibly miserable. She barely spoke, arms always crossed. The third wife was like after the honeymoon period was over she was like "What was I thinking?" but nope they keep saying ...

Not long ago, I went speed dating with a friend. I have been speed dating before, many years ago and actually matched with someone. We spoke a lot on the phone, went on a date but it never led to anything. Anyways, I went because I figured it was something to do that could be fun, so I didn't have any expectations. Hopefully the picture above can be enlarged but it basically was my summary of the night. I had surveyed the room before we got started and had our 5 mins with each guy and I didn't spot anyone that sparked my interest. Let's just say that the pickings for the night were not of the best quality. In my extensive history of 2 whole speed dating events the similarities I picked up on was that a lot of Indians seem to enjoy this, there are people who legit do this as a hobby (one guy said he has been to about 50+ of these and also medical doctors - usually Indian again are huge fans). The bunch was so eccentric. I mean the one black guy was so stoned he coul...

This is a late one but I added another year to my life and I am thankful for that. I used to be the person so uber excited about birthdays, while it's still kind of cool, it hasn't been the same the last few years but I am still grateful for them. Whenever my life feels like a tornado (which feels like all the time) the one constant is always my ever faithful friends and family. They just make my life much better and I am forever grateful for them in my life. For my new year, my goals are: To continue trying to focus on the positives in my life, no matter how small or big because it makes weathering the storm just a tad bit easier. I want to be intentional in my happiness. I can't be this old and not put into practice things I have learned along the way or learn from mistakes. I want to make decisions that are bold and fill my happy tank. To always remember that life is short and make the best of it. Be appreciative and think I am deserving. Thank you all for ...

It's my blog and I can bend the rules right? Today was one of those days. It wasn't a great day. Do you guys ever wonder why life has to be so hard and complicated? or is it just me? Are there people who find life not that hard and uncomplicated? Show yourself and also tag me in! Sigh. Anyways, I feel fall around the corner. The weather gets a bit nippy in the mornings. That makes me sadder. I am a heat baby. I love the sun and the heat, it just makes things slightly better. Meanwhile, I practically lost all dignity and begged yall for comments and got crickets. Oh well, I take my L and continue screaming to my echoes. Let's random. John Cena and Nicki Bella have been playing tag on their wedding and breaking up and making up. There was a scene on their TV show where she says she doesn't want to be the 66 year old woman who started being happy at 63 and that was some honest talk. Why do we always delay our happiness under the hubris that life will wait for us or g...

Happy Friday y'all. It was brought to my attention that I don't random as much anymore. In my head, I was like I random'd two weeks ago. I checked and I was like sheesh. Time really is flying. I got to hang with my friends' kids this past weekend and it really has me wondering where time is flying. Like, August is literally next week and before you know it the end of the year is here. We just keep getting older and I am like eeeeek! Speaking of, summer is almost over and I hope you guys are having a great summer. Let's random. I totally understand that it is different for everyone but there's the widespread belief that your life ends or something akin to it, once you have kids and you can't do anything anymore. But I have friends with kids who still travel as much as they used to, with or without their kids but more so with their kids. So in the case where finances is not an issue, is it more of a personality thing than the notion that kids make everythi...

We are thick in to the summer and I hope you guys are enjoying the warm weather. I am a summer baby and will always always prefer the heat to the cold so I am grateful for the warm weather to step out and not need a jacket or a coat. Unfortunately, good weather doesn't always make your problems go away and we still have to adult. Adulting comes with so many commitments and priorities that we sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses and take some time out to enjoy life or take care of ourselves. We take it for granted that our bodies will keep going and our friends and family will be there waiting for us when in reality, life changes in seconds. Whether from good to bad or bad to good. I came across this on twitter and thought these were good guidelines to practice. Figured I'd share. It says to schedule this sometime every month: 1. Lunch date with a friend 2. 24 hours with no social media 3. 1 day outdoors 4. 1 night out with friends 5. 1 date night (even if it i...

I've been a bad, bad blogger. It's so amazing how time sneaks up on you and suddenly its been a hot minute since you have done friday randoms. How are you guys doing in these perilous times we are living in? This week alone we heard of so many losses in Nigeria, preventable losses that is. Let's not even address what is going on in America. Everything is just lining up in favor for our "leader" to continue to spread his evilness, we have had yet another shooting and I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore. Today I tweeted that this might have been what the Bible meant by the end times because everything happening is like emotional and mental warfare and it's just too much. On the bright side, what an exciting World Cup! Let's random. We as humans are quite anecdotal. We'll know one or two people doing something and we will say "everyone i know or a lot of people I know are doing xyz" The groupthink on social media is t...

Can you believe it has been almost 3 weeks since Anthony Bourdain passed away? Today would have been his 62nd birthday. The whole situation combined with Kate Spade's is just a sad situation but if nothing else we are in a time where more people are taking notice of mental awareness and being encouraged to speak out more and reach out to people when you need help. I have been through my dark moments and I know how hard it can be to actually seek out the help so as not to seem like a bother so I can't imagine how much more harder it is for people who go through depression and deep mental issues and aren't really in control of their thoughts. In some communities, it's almost like taboo to seek professional help but my hope is that more and more people get comfortable seeking that help. Let's all try to be kinder and step out of our bubble and try to reach out or give just a smile to someone out there that might need one. Happy Birthday, Anthony Bourdain.

I was talking to a friend who lives in Nigeria and she brought up how, in the quest to marry her off she was set up with a guy. When she asked why they thought they'd be a good match, she was told he is Igbo and "from a good home" and that's all you really need. Social media people always type up essays implying not having a good relationship with a parent ruins your dating life and it is oh so important and many other things along those lines. From a good home. I've heard this statement so much. What does this even mean? Why does it hold so much weight? Should it hold so much weight? Is it fair to judge a person by that? Even though I hear it so much among Nigerians, I know it is not strictly a Nigerian thing. But focusing on Nigerians who are the champions of presenting the best face while suffering behind it, how do we define a good home? If a person has a parent that's an addict is it fair to judge what the kid is? If a person loses a parent early ...

Wow. Somehow it's been two months. My sincere apologies. But once again, life is kicking my ass and so much going on. I really did have material but just getting the chance to sit and transfer on here was a hassle. How is everyone doing with the advent of Q2 2018? Time is already flying. I thought spring would never come but we are finally getting warm weather here. I left my house today without a coat so yay to that. This whole Tristan Thompson/Khloe Kardashian saga. Whew. All I can say is what a shame. What is the appeal in dating an athlete when they have shown over and over again they can't be trusted? Also, if you know you want to cheat, you are like taller than the average person, you are not discreet. Unless he wanted to be caught? Just a mess I tell ya. Let's not even touch our president. Seeing as I just found out he had a love child from the 80's?? like whet? From FBI raiding, to people testifying, being fired or quitting. I can't even. Let's mini-ra...

We are halfway through February! Felt like January took forever and now we are whizzing through February. Weather is still cold but nothing too terrible. It just keeps fluctuating between low temperatures to mid-decent. Looking forward to the advent of Spring though. Nice weather is always welcome. 2018 has been okay so far. Okay, not meaning without its trials but I am trying to enjoy my 2018 as much as I can and handle disappointments as best as I can, especially the things I cannot control. I'm trying not to overthink and to just go with the flow and maybe the Universe will be kind to me. In that vein, I tried something I had never done before and went skiing last weekend and it was terrifying guys!! I took a lesson and many falls and practice later, I got the hang of it and it was a bit exhilarating but I was stressed for most of the time. Here's to many more exhilarating moments in the year. Let's random. I really hope people with good health really and truly app...

Happy Friday guys. Thank God for making it to the weekend. Even though it felt like it took forever for it to get here. How about this winter, huh? Just showing up and showing out. Even our friends in the south are part of the party. It's payback for the mild winters we have had. How's everyone's first month going? Still feeling gingered and optimistic and sticking to intended goals? Hope your answer is yes and if it isn't remember every day is a new day. New day to start over and begin again. Let's random. Talking to a friend about legacies and impact on people when you die and I think unless you are a truly heinous person, everyone becomes a hero when they die. It could be the most minute thing or even if it is that this person was the life of the party or a random high school/college memory for the most part people are remembered as remarkable. Life is hard guys :( Perspective is such a tricky thing. It's amazing how we can see things from one perspec...

Happy New Year guys. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I had a wonderful holiday and a reminder that family is everything. The only bad part about the holidays is post-holidays when you have to go back to reality and face all the aftermath of the things you pretended didn't exist - work, calories, bills/bank account, real life everything. There's a sect of people every year who question people that choose to see the new year as a fresh start and say what's different? every day regardless of date can be a day for a fresh start. I don't see why it matters. To each their own. There is a reason we have markers in life - birthdays, anniversaries etc. it's just how it works. You can't pick and choose. I like to see the new year as a fresh start but as the years go by it has become depressing because each year I seem to be faced with seeing my failures vs. my accomplishments (since people like to tell me they exist). I remember the first time I saw the saying ...