The Source..

Hi guys, another friday is upon us and quite frankly we should just celebrate Christmas because I am pretty sure if you blink Christmas will be upon us the way the year flew by. It's been such a stressful year for me that I don't know if I want the year to just be gone or if I am scared of what the new year will bring. I am struggling to keep my eyes open as I type this. Old age is real. I am so wiped out. Is it just me or is anyone else mentally checked out of wo rk ?  Like the spirit is willing especially since I have a lot to tie up before I go on vacation but man, the brain is not willing at all at all. Anyways, let's random. I really dislike when people say life is not hard and we make it hard. Just because we have food in our bellies and roofs over our head doesn't mean some people aren't dealt an unfair hand and life is hard for them. The whole rape debacle on twitter just reminded me that e be like say our generation lacks kindness and empathy. I read ...

If you are on twitter, you would have seen the uproar and outrage that went on about rape and sexual assault and we got to see just how far we have to go for a lot of people to understand just how widespread this situation is and its lingering effects. You'd be surprised how many women have a story to tell and are carrying this to their graves. Anyways, I watched a documentary called "India's Daughter" that focuses on how a 20 year old med student in India was gang raped by 6 men on a bus and eventually died. Guys, it was so horrific. They sodomised this girl with a rod so bad that her intestines were pulled out. The surgeon didnt know how to rearrange her. They interviewed the rapists (which included a 17 year old minor), their parents, a wife of one of the rapists (who blamed the girl) and the defense lawyers. One of the rapists had no remorse and said if she was a good girl she wouldn't have been out at 9pm. A defense lawyer said if he ever caught his daugh...

Howdy Ho peoples. How are you ?  Hope you are doing well. As for me, I am very tired and I am so glad it is Friday. I just got back from vacation and catching up to the real world just tired me out. You know, sometimes I think vacations are a scam. You are supposed to go and be all rejuvenated but one day back into the real world and everything is all wiped out. But I think I am extra tired because it was multiple destinations and just before I left I had traveled for work and basically came home and swapped suitcases. So I haven't had the time to catch my breath. My poor babies are suffering and by poor babies I mean my tv shows. I have been trying so hard to catch up and with all the new releases, I am so behind! *sobs*. How about this global warming fall we are having I don't know whether to be scared or be happy. Anyways, let me get to random-ing. When Mark Wahlberg hosted the Pope's visit to Philly, there was a moment where he told the Pope that he gives God all the ...

I am pretty sure that at some point, I have blogged or wondered what the point of prayer is when at the end of the day, it all depends on the will of God. Let me backtrack a little. Something I have also said before is that I don't believe that being a positive, happy go lucky person guarantees or brings you good things. It just means you can handle things better and it's also just a better attitude to have in this tough world we live in. I was in a discussion where people vehemently disagreed with me on this and said when you pray hard and think positively about something and believe it then it comes to pass. Which is all great and dandy but I've thought about it and whatever hope there was in me believing it, it was dashed when my mom passed away. I don't think I believed anything harder or was so sure about someone pulling through. So that's where I stand and I kinda don't like feeling guilty or made to feel guilty for having that stance. Anyways, it br...

So last weekend, I attended a girls night bbq that was loads of fun. It was a mixed crowd of both American and Nigerian women. There was a group among the American women that happened to be close friends and they shared with us how they go on couples retreats and share stuff with each other. They shared some of the things with us that ranged from personal to sexual and one of them told us some of the things she didn't know and had learned just by talking to the women. I thought about the night and I admired how open they were. I mentioned this fact to some of my friends there and also added that Nigerians would never do that. They disagreed with me and said it depends who it was and within their circle they would and they do. Unfortunately, I don't think I agree with them. I think it's just ingrained in us to just keep stuff hidden and put best foot forward. Hell, till today some of us still have that superstition of never giving out our travel dates even though we know b...

I honestly try to think of things to blog about besides Friday Randoms but sometimes I think people don't want to read anything but Friday Randoms and people always tell me that noone has time to read anymore but oh well. I shall still try. In my trying, I thought of this blog post by  Social Hermit  where she made a list of 26 things she would like to do before she is 26. Granted, I am waaay older, I still think it is a fun list and a fun guide if you are looking for things to do or if you would like to enter the scary scary world that is adulthood. I will cross out the things that I have done. Okay here we go.... 1.        Read the whole bible 2.       Take swimming lessons 3.       Take pole dancing classes 4.      Become proficient at yoga 5.       Visit 5 new states in the U.S. 6.    ...

It's funny how your mood can change in an instant. I am currently in a bad mood. I am tired from working on something that took forever. I wasn't going to random but I actually do have randoms this week and I figured I might as well do it. At the Emmy's Lisa Cholodenko won an Emmy and the announcer pronounced it with such ease. If that was an African name it would have for sure been butchered. So is it really pronunciation that's difficult or the origin of the name? You might have caught wind of the whole brouhaha about Will's Smith's accent as a Nigerian man in the new movie "Concussion". A friend of mine thinks it's not a big deal. I think it is because we allow these things slide. When a movie star wants to portray an Australian they don't just wing it and give us a Brit accent hoping it will slide. There seems to be one universal African accent that sounds like it's from Eastern or Southern Africa. It'll be nice if effort was ma...

Gosh this week has been a long week and I am so ready for Friday especially since I am doing absolutely nada this weekend. Except going to the dentist. I told a friend that I'd rather go to the dentist than the doctor and she thought that was weird. I have no anxiety going to dentists. Or maybe I got spoiled by my fabulous dentist in Dallas. Anyways as the title suggests, today's randoms are a guest random by my friend Swanboy. Every now and then, when I don't post randoms, he will hit me up to let me know that randoms aren't up and as is my reflex answer whenever I am hit up about randoms I let him know that he is welcome to guest random - and this applies to all of you. Anyone who would like to guest random, please feel free o. Hit me up and we will make it happen. So anyways, here are his randoms: I got to observe three female friends of mine who are heavily pregnant. Ladies, standing ovation to you. One of my male friends who is married to one of them said he’d r...

And just like that it is Friday again. I shouldn't be surprised especially since we are in the -mber months that have a reputation for practically flying us into christmas. Truly grateful the weather is still nice even though I think it's like one last hurrah before the cold aka fall befalls us. Thank you, you kind citizens for all the birthday wishes. I truly appreciate it. I had a great time. I went to Toronto and attended the Toronto Film Festival and it was so up my alley and so fun and my icing was my brother being in town. A few of my friends are coming into town this weekend so the celebration continues. Once again we thank God for another year. Let us random, shall we. I think I may have mentioned how I watch "Bachelor in Paradise" and how I feel like it mirrors how things are in real life between men and women. In one case, this couple was one of the established couples in the house. Guy and girl was on same page - seemingly. He was going along with everyth...

Another year, Another birthday. I tried remembering how many +1 posts I have done. I am grateful for every time I get to see another year and I am a big birthday person but as you guys know this one was different. It was the first one without mom and I think I had some anxiety leading up to it not sure how or what I was going to feel today. I went to do my usual midnight prayers and it suddenly hit me. Midnight was when she would usually call me and sing happy birthday to me and the realization that "Mom" wouldn't be flashing on my phone screen got so overwhelming and I switched off my phone and sobbed my eyes out to the point where my eyes and head hurt. I read my bible and it was actually a chapter about strength and drawing strength from God. I wiped my eyes and went to sleep. I woke up okay, getting ready for work and truly grateful for another year. Work was okay and some of my coworkers took me to lunch and the chef was kind enough to give me some type of birthd...

I am so glad the long week is over and Friday is here and also that it is a long weekend. I am hella tired and so glad I am sitting my ass home for once, even if I am on the move again next week. Long way of saying Cheers to the long weekend! Did you guys watch the highly boring VMAs? How did that show go to shit? Kanye was really the highlight. That guy is off his rockers. I have no gist to share with you guys so I will just go right ahead and dive into randoms. If you don't have weight issues, you should thank your lucky stars. Being disciplined and sticking to this health/fitness thing is not easy at all. My newly married friend was yarning me about guilt free sex and it had me wondering how that works. Say you have been dating for years and been pre-maritaling all this time. Do you get married and suddenly your pre-marital sin debt is wiped away? What if you die the day after your wedding? Are you free of that sin? Do you think that watching porn while married is a sin? (...

I watch this show called Marriage Bootcamp on WE. It's a marriage/relationship bootcamp for reality stars. It's run by a married couple who are marriage counselors and they put the couples through many exercises to help them dig deep and communicate and try to solve the issues with their partners. In one of the exercises, each person was asked if they remember a single event in their lives that shaped who they are and how they are in past and present relationships. I thought that that was a very deep question and proceeded to ask a bunch of people I knew (and learned that people either don't like being asked deep questions or don't like digging deep into their lives). A lot of people told me that they couldn't think of one single event, which is fair. Some examples from the show were the death of a mom that caused him to feel guilt and made him shut down and now he tends to notice he shuts down a lot in relationships, someone had a mom break trophies she had ear...

I am lying here with a heated something something on my back cuz I  think I may have tweaked something. Old age is really real. The current weather is something that makes me smile inside. I am really going to miss the summer. I think everytime everyone says that life is short but I really don't think it resonates until it hits close, then we forget and go back to daily living till the next time but for real for real guys - life.is.short. Don't take it for granted that you wake up everyday like clockwork. life changes in the blink of an eye. Okay, enough bleak talk, thank you again for the interest you guys showed in the "Love or Something Like It series. I'd also like to say thank you to the contributor. Couldn't have been an easy thing to share that personal story. Okay let's random. Why is it that when I get all dolled up, I look in the mirror, I see babe then I take a picture and I see dinosaur...why sway???!! American kids ehn. They are spoiled. One of...

Hello all. Hope you are all doing well. I really love summer. I never understand when people complain about the heat. I'd take this all day vs. the winter or fall. I really hate wearing coats and sweaters. Can you believe we have just 5 months left of this year? It feels like January was just here. Personally, it's just been a long ass year but this isn't about me. Let's random. How are celebs able to rebound from relationships so quickly? Like it doesn't matter the age, circumstance or look you are guaranteed to hear of their new relationship almost immediately after a split. Thinking about it, it's just not reserved for celebs sha. There are people who are almost rarely single. They always have a significant other. How do you guys do it o? How do you kick a person out your system? How many of your friends were made online vs. physically in real life? Was talking to a friend who mentioned how he met his friend via some msn community thingie and it had me ...

I come across a lot of these things online and once upon a time I'd view them as cliches and roll my eyes but as I get older I have realized that these reminders are so necessary because once again, we know better but we don't do better. 1. If it feels wrong, don't do it 2.  Say [exactly] what you mean 3.  Don't be a people pleaser 4.  Trust your instincts 5.  Never speak bad about yourself 6.  Never give up on your dreams 7.  Don't be afraid to say no 8.  Don't be afraid to say yes 9.  Be kind to yourself 10. Let go of what you can't control 11. Stay away from drama and negativity 12. LOVE Hope you found at least one thing that resonates? Which ones resonated with you? Have a lovely week ahead.

Hi all. Hope everyone had a good week. We are having a lot of thunderstorms here and it's kind of annoying just rain all the time. I don't think I got to say this but thank you to everyone who left a kind message or sent an email to me about my mom. I appreciate it and thank you for the prayers, they are much needed and truly appreciated. Regarding my last post about nature vs. nurture, I read this article last week about two sets of twins switched in error -  http://www.nytimes.com/2015/ 07/12/magazine/the-mixed-up- brothers-of-bogota.html?_r=1  - it was such a fascinating read and also mentioned in there was:  One unexpected finding in his research suggested that the effect of a pair’s shared environment — say, their parents — had little bearing on personality. Genes and unique experiences — a semester abroad, an important friend — were more influential. Pretty fascinating. Anyways here are my randoms: I have finally decided that I don't like it when an older woman da...

It's been a rough couple of months since I lost my mom. Sometimes, I look at myself and wonder how I am functioning. If you had ever told me how I would be if I ever lost my mom I would have told you I would have lost it, but here we are. Grief is a very strange thing. It's also a very confusing thing. You are full of questions but have no answers and won't get any because they are gone. It brings many different emotions that hit you at the weirdest times. Every little thing reminds me of my mom and I can think of a memory to attach to it. It's an odd thing continuing and acting like life goes on when your world has stopped. Sometimes, I feel like a crazy person. After the funeral it was much worse. I felt so lost (I still do). I felt like I was walking around with a gaping hole. I was so confused and I didn't know what the purpose of life or God was. I couldn't pray. I tried reading the bible but everytime I read something that alluded to God protects his own...

Today is a somber day in America. These occurrences against black people is getting too frequent and it's actually a bit frightening because really this could happen to any one of us. May the souls of all those lost rest in peace. Here we go with randoms dedicated to my friend, Swanboy. What's the line between confidence and arrogance? Pet Peeve: When people sound so sure about stuff they have no proof or know nothing about. It is quite common among Nigerians because for some reason saying "I don't know" is a crime. Sometimes I think my being single bothers other people more than me myself. I can't count the number of times I have been asked if I will do online dating. I don't know what the intentions or reasons are but I always side eye the question. Especially if I haven't complained to said person about not meeting people. I just find it annoying when people have some insight into my love life or lack thereof. Speaking of love life, it...

I saw this tweet on my TL: "Things people are struggling for, you get them easily without sweat. Without compromise. Just God's favour!" I think I may have said this in my randoms before but this tweet reminded me how the word favor rubs me off the wrong way. I totally get wanting to sing your blessings to the world but I truly think there are other ways to do so without being smug? obnoxious? (are those the right words?) We are told that God loves us all equally but when these self proclaimed favored people make these declarations, the word seems to take on a connotation like they are on a different level and are better in God's eyes. Like those who don't get them easily (to quote the lady above) are doing bad things and deserve to be punished. Once again, I am not saying the praises of God shouldn't be declared publicly but more oft than not these declarations often comes across as bragging under the guise of praising God. I think you can tell when a...

I met someone this week who is Jewish. He was introduced to the religion by his wife. He believes in equality and social justices for all and actually does things about it to make it happen. He is all for gay rights. In his car, he keeps a basket of stuff that includes socks, gloves, hats, snacks, medicine, vitamins etc to give to homeless people he encounters that may be in need. I also have a friend who is so generous with the kindest heart and is always looking out for the interest of everyone else before hers. In my time(s) of need, she has always shown up in a big way. She happens to be gay. Based on the christian religion, these two people don't meet the criteria to make it into Heaven even though they are they epitome of loving their neighbors as they love themselves. How sway? Makes no sense to me.

Hi guys. The weekend is upon us again. There's no point counting down anyways because I feel like you blink and Friday is here. I mean we are almost done with the first quarter of the year, March will soon be over. I thought we were done with snow in these parts but of course not. We are expected to have snow tomorrow ironically the first day of Spring. Go figure. This was a stressful week for me so I am kinda glad to see it almost over. Why does life have to be hard sometimes? Also why is it hard to walk away from something that is clearly not good for you? Anyone of you guys watch the Empire finale? It was such an acid trip. Everything and EVERYTHING was packed into those 2 hours. It was a hot mess but I loved it. Guess it makes sense why I love reality shows, huh? Okay let's random before I say what I am not supposed to say on here. I am truly grateful for wine. I am currently sipping on some Berry White Cranberry something and the tart and sweet combination is making me...

"Friendship is like money, easier made than kept" Friendships is one of those things I take very seriously. Some may consider it a bit too seriously. But I consider it serious because when you don't have family around they can be the family that you get to choose. One of my life lessons was that friendship does not have one straight definition. It means so many different things to different people. When I was younger, I thought friendship was defined the same by everyone. I had certain expectations and things I thought friendship should be and when it wasn't meant I felt the other party has failed me. I've come to learn now that everyone is different and you can foist your beliefs on others. I have learned it is a tailor made thing and everyone has different expectations. I still have my expectations of what I feel a friendship should be but i have learned to not be so rigid about them. In my observations of some people, it seems people are okay with a surf...